The Caregiver Identity Crisis: Rediscovering You in the Midst of Dementia Care

In this deeply compassionate and insightful conversation, Laura welcomes back licensed mental health counselor Laurie Thompson to explore one of the most personal and universal experiences of caregiving: losing yourself in the process.

Together, they unpack what it means to lose your sense of identity while caring for someone you love — and how to slowly, intentionally begin to rediscover yourself. From the brain science behind chronic stress to practical mindfulness tools and emotional reframing, this episode offers validation, comfort, and hope for anyone who’s ever thought, “I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

👤 Meet Laurie Thompson:

Laurie Thompson is a licensed mental health counselor and longtime collaborator on Laura’s clinical team. With nearly 15 years of experience supporting caregivers and families impacted by dementia, Laurie specializes in helping individuals manage chronic stress, reclaim a sense of self, and build emotional resilience. Her compassionate approach blends practical brain-based strategies with deep empathy for the caregiving experience.

📌 Topics Discussed:

- The emotional and neurological impact of chronic caregiving stress

- Why caregivers often feel like they’ve “lost themselves”

- The brain’s ability to rewire and heal through mindfulness and reframing

- Small daily practices that help you reconnect with your identity

- The concept of “identity anchors” and how to find yours again

- Managing guilt and grief when life no longer feels familiar

- How to bring your authentic self into caregiving moments

- The power of holding space for both caregiving and self-care

⏱️ Timestamps (Approximate):

00:00 – Introduction and Laura’s connection with Laurie

02:15 – Why caregivers often lose their sense of self

06:30 – How chronic stress rewires the brain and impacts identity

12:00 – The opportunity to “reprogram” your brain through awareness

18:30 – Finding small ways to reconnect to yourself

25:00 – Mindfulness, sensory awareness, and grounding practices

31:00 – The unrealistic expectations placed on caregivers

38:45 – Grief, loss, and the “spiritual journey” of caregiving

45:00 – Reclaiming identity through small wins and “what went well” moments

52:00 – Integrating your authentic self into caregiving

58:00 – Closing reflections on empowerment, balance, and self-compassion

💡 Key Takeaways:

- Losing yourself as a caregiver is a common — and completely human — experience.

- Chronic stress physically reshapes the brain, but healing and rewiring are always possible.

- Your thoughts are not your identity — you have the power to reframe and redirect them.

- Start small: one mindful breath, one grounding moment, one positive note in a jar.

- Bring yourself into caregiving — your creativity, humor, and personality are part of what makes your care meaningful.

- You can hold both truths: caring for others and caring for yourself are equally vital.

📚 Resources Mentioned:

Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky

Mindfulness and sensory grounding practices

“What Went Well” Jar exercise for daily positive reflection

🌿 Connect with Laura Vaillancourt & the Life on Repeat Podcast:

Instagram: @lifeonrepeat.podcast

Facebook: Life on Repeat Podcast

Website: lifeonrepeatpodcast.com

Email: hello@lifeonrepeatpodcast.com

If this conversation resonated with you, please like, subscribe, and share the episode with another caregiver who might need to hear it 💛 Every listen helps us reach more caregivers who deserve to feel seen, supported, and hopeful.